First Time in the Hospital

August 21, 1999

I finally got out of bed at around 5:30 am. I took a shower and drank a few cups of tea until my friend got out of bed about half an hour later. She had called her relatives the night before and they were going to pick her up from the hospital that day.

We arrived at around 8:30 am and waited for a few hours. Bob's mom and my mom arrived together. Bob's dad arrived about an hour later and I met him in the parking lot in front of the Emergency room. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and cried.

When it was close to the time of the CT scan, Luke was taken over to a bed in the Emergency room so a tube could shoved up his nose and slid down his throat (necessary for the contrast used in the scan). An IV was also inserted into the back of his tiny left arm and his whole hand was taped down to a long, white plastic board. I let the nurses and my mom be with him during those procedures, as I knew that I wouldn't be able to handle it (I faint at the sight of needles and blood).

After the tubes were in place, Bob carried Luke down to the CT scan room. We were introduced to a couple of doctors/specialists (I can't remember their names) and Luke was carried into the exam room and placed upon the table. He was really upset about being there and he was crying and squirming to get up. A needle was placed into the IV line in his hand and as the doctor squeezed the contents into the line he said that Luke would now be going to sleep.

I was not prepared to witness what I saw. My fussy, bright, vocal child suddenly goes quiet and you could see the light dim in his eyes. When he went out, his eyes were still wide open. Watching that made me feel sick to my stomach and I wanted to scream. Bob and I were quickly ushered out of the room, which wasn't really necessary because both of us seemed to be running out of there instinctively anyway. We held each other in the hall and cried on each other's shoulders.

Bob's mom couldn't handle being there anymore so she left. Bob, his dad, my mother and I sat in the waiting room and waited. Dr. Schultz, the oncologist, sat down and talked to us. He started by explaining how the protocol for Wilm's tumor would be a bit different then we were led to believe the night before. Instead of having major surgery on Sunday to remove the kidney and tumor, Luke would be started on a course of chemotherapy for around 5 or 6 weeks. It was hoped that by doing that first, it would shrink the tumors making removal and shaving a much easier process. We were told that on Sunday, a biopsy would be performed and at the same time a VAD would be implanted into Luke's chest making IV access much easier in the long run [no repeated iv pokes in arms/legs, no worries about collapsing veins, etc]. He also said that the surgeon, Dr. Webber, would also take care of the testicle issue at that time as well. Bob's dad and my mother started asking him some questions and I lost interest at that point. I just wanted them to come and tell us that we could go to Luke.

A couple of hours passed before Bob and I were led to the recovery room to be with Luke as he woke up. He seemed irritable and cranky. He wasn't pleased. It was good to see him like that.

We were there for another couple of hours, as a room was made available for Luke on the third floor in the oncology ward. By dinnertime we were settling into our hospital room. People, faces, came and went. They talked. I don't remember hearing too much of what they were saying.

We knew that he'd be going down to the O.R. the next morning and again I'd have to stop nursing him earlier than I would have liked to. I laid awake for most of the night beside Luke in the hospital bed. Bob tried to sleep in the cot beside the bed. Nurses came in and out every hour to take temperatures and blood pressures. I don't think I could have slept even if I wanted to.

.
Luke and Me
Luke and Tea on the hospital bed



Back
Next
Back
Next